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Thank you for sharing your personal agony over this issue. It sounds as though your girlfriend having cheated on you in the past remains as alive for you now as it did then. Are you crazy? No. Should you get help? Yes. Here’s why. First, let me say that it is important to realize that to be betrayed in a relationship would be devastating for most people, so you are by no means alone in feeling hurt and violated. However, you remain stuck in these feelings, bottling them up so that they get stronger, and this is pushing you further into resentment and despair, where thinking about death becomes more of an option. It is very important to realize the seriousness of these feelings, and to acknowledge that your efforts to help yourself in this regard, while commendable, are not working the way you want and need them to. This is the time to get therapeutic help so that you can learn how to deal more constructively with these issues. Second, I am glad that you raised the issue of forgiveness. My hunch is that this lies at the core of your struggle, so you are on the right track. However, forgiveness is a complicated process for most of us, and working with a counselor to help you learn to forgive could pay big dividends for you (and your girlfriend) in the future. I hope you will contact our office immediately so that you can get the help you need. Just walk-in anytime between 10:00 AM and 4:00 PM Monday through Friday, and a counselor will be available to meet with you. The Counseling and Student Development Center (CSDC) is located in the Campus Life Building, Room 200. We look forward to seeing you soon.
Sincerely,
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