Dear Student,

Thank you for contacting me regarding your concern. As I consider your question, it seems that you are worried that something may go wrong if you have anal sex with your boyfriend. First of all, I would like to emphasize that your needs are as important as your boyfriend’s. If you feel scared or hesitant to try it, then you should communicate that to your boyfriend. I am concerned that you will be less likely to enjoy the experience if you have doubts about it. My advice to you is that if you are not enjoying yourself during anal sex, then stop! Trying something different with your boyfriend is supposed to be about your pleasure too. Sexual pleasure is about consent for all involved and you are not obligated to provide pleasure for your boyfriend when it is hurting you. Furthermore, if you start to bleed as a consequence of anal sex that means that something has been ripped (anal tissue), torn (hemorrhoid has been broken), or braded (surface friction was too much). The scarring can lead to prolonged pain and discomfort and serious rectal bleeding can be an emergency, and you might need medical attention. Additionally, it's easy enough to transmit illness (sexually transmitted infections) without careful protection (barriers like latex or polyurethane)--but once you're into the bloodstream, you can be infected with your own normal bacteria, as well as anything your partner might have (unknowingly or not).

There are some great references specifically on anal sex for you to read up on. The first is J. Morin's book Anal Pleasure and Health, or T. Taormino's book The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. You deserve information about anal sex so that you can make informed decisions about your body and the bodies you love. http://www.a-womans-touch.com/article/2/20/Painful_anal_sex.html

Sincerely,

Barb Wired