Dear Concerned Parent,

I can appreciate why your daughter might feel out of place since Douglas Hall is designated as primarily a freshman residence hall. However, there are several options that she might consider pursuing to aid her in connecting with "older" students. She might wish to become involved in hall activities such as residence hall government. In addition, there are several student organizations, including student religious groups, on campus outside of the residence hall environment. There may be at least one organization your daughter might be interested in joining, depending upon her interest. As a third-year transfer student, she will likely be taking some upper division classes. This is a "built-in" way of meeting older students. Also, depending on her major, there may be a student group she could join in this respect as well.

If joining groups and getting involved in extra-curricular activities are possibilities for your daughter, she could contact either of the following two offices for lists of student groups and information on how to get involved: The NIU Student Association, Campus Life Building 180, 815- 753-0482, as well as University Programming and Activities, Campus Life Building 150, 815-753-1421.

If your daughter is unhappy with her residence hall assignment and would like to consider moving to an upper class residence hall, this may be a possibility. Such changes are not always possible due to enrollment levels, but she could explore this option by contacting her CA (Community Advisor) on the floor where she currently lives about how to get in touch with her hall director, who could help her with such a request. My understanding from talking with the Office of Residential Life staff is that such changes can only occur on a "space available" basis and then no earlier than ten days after the start of classes.

Another office that your daughter might find interesting and supportive is the University Resources for Women Office (URW), located at 105 Normal Road (right behind Campus Parking Services), 753-0320. They offer a variety of programs geared to the unique needs of non-traditional female students.

If your daughter has difficulty reaching out to get involved and struggles with meeting others, she might be able to benefit from speaking with a counselor in our office. Depending on her personal situation, getting support from another person in this way might be just what she needs to help her with this transition. The easiest way to contact the Counseling and Student Development Center (CSDC), is to call (753-1206) or come by and make an initial appointment to speak with a counselor. We are located in the Campus Life Building, Room 200.

It might also be useful to take a "wait and see" attitude with your daughter, at least for a few weeks. Despite the initial sense of feeling "out of place", she might do a perfectly fine job of making the connections that are important to her on her own as she becomes familiar with her surroundings.

I hope there is something in all of this information that your daughter will find useful. Connecting with others and making friends in a new environment as large and diverse as NIU can feel stressful and intimidating. On the other hand, the potential benefits of being involved and getting connected are tremendous! Good Luck!

Sincerely, 

Barb Wired