|
Dear K, Thanks so much for writing in. Relationships can be so hard sometimes and talking with someone else can help so much. Being in love is such a wonderful experience! When we’re in love, we feel wanted, a part of something special, and excited about the future. We can also feel a little scared about the future and getting hurt, and that’s okay. It means you’re really thinking about it deeply and want to make the right decision for yourself and your relationship. It sounds like you’ve been feeling conflicted lately because you are getting some mixed messages from Roy. He tells you he loves you and how much he wants to marry you and have children with you, but then seems to spend most of his time with his friends, or arguing and fighting with you. It also sounds like you’re not sure if you’re ready for marriage and children. I don’t blame you! You’re at an age where it seems like the most exciting part of life is waiting ahead of you after you graduate from high school and you want to get on and go with it, but what about Prom and Homecoming? What about your friends, football games, and going to college? It sounds to me like you really love Roy and don’t want to lose him, but you also want to slow things down a little bit. Try talking to him about this, and if that doesn’t work it might help to talk with someone else, like your best friend or a counselor at school. When Roy spends time with his friends, I suggest that you get together with your friends or join a sport team or student organization so that you enjoy your own interests and friends. I know you don’t want to make the wrong decision and if you were meant to be together, Roy will understand that and won’t push you to “grow up” before you’re ready. You’re at that perfect time in your life when you get to start trying new things and thinking about what else you want in life in addition to being a wife and mother. Maybe you want to travel, go to college, hang out with your friends, or just go somewhere really cool for spring break. The point is all of that would be a lot harder to do with a baby or being married. I would suggest you talk to a trusted adult in your life about this. If you don’t feel like your parents would understand, maybe you can talk with your minister or other spiritual leader, a teacher, counselor, or coach, an aunt you trust, or a friend of the family. The key is to talk with someone you trust because you don’t have to go through this alone. There are probably lots of people in your life who would not only talk with you about this, but also really understand the struggle you’re feeling. Good luck to you and I hope that you dream big, and get all that you want from life! Sincerely, |