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Dear Going Insane: Working for a difficult manager is certainly challenging. First, I would encourage you to have a meeting with your manager and discuss your concerns in a gentle and honest manner. Explain the problems you have been experiencing and emphasize that you would like to stay, but that you are feeling stressed by these problems. When talking with your manager focus on the problem at hand, avoid blaming your manager, use active listening skills, and use "I" statements rather than "You" statements. Hopefully, this meeting would not only allow you to express your needs and feelings, but also you will gain a better understanding of what your manager expects and needs from you. Also, remember that your manager is probably not going to change, so if change is going to happen it is up to you. Think about how you may be contributing to the difficulties you are having with your manager and how you can change your responses to this negative situation. Focus on what you can do to make the situation better. Learn ways to manage your manager. Learn what your manager wants, understand what is important to them, their likes/dislikes, triggers and how you can best do the job they expect you to do. Finally, get support and advice from your co-workers. Others may be having problems with the manager as well; find out how they have handled the situation and what methods helped them successfully deal with your manager. Sharing your concerns with others, both at work and outside of work, can help diffuse your feelings of frustration and help you feel supported in finding effective ways to handle the situation. Good Luck! BW |