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Dear Miss My Best Friend: It’s difficult to see a friend hurting and engaging in self-destructive behavior. I would suggest you share your concerns with your friend, but do it in a sensitive manner. Tell your friend simply that you are worried about her; highlight to her the specific behaviors you have seen (e.g., sleeping a lot, increased marijuana use) that are of concern. Consider that your friend may be acting this way because she feels depressed over the separation, not just because of increased marijuana use (when sharing your concerns, it’s not your place to “guess” the reasons for the behaviors you have observed). Let your friend know you are available and willing to help her; you might consider suggesting specific things you can do, such as being available to talk or helping her find a counselor to talk to if she is interested. Try to avoid directly confronting your friend with “the negative impact of marijuana” if you don’t want to appear “better than” her. Be prepared for her to be irritable or upset even if you follow the advice given above. Try not to argue or take it personally, she is going through a difficult time, and she may be ashamed and hurting. Remember that it is your friend’s responsibility to get help. If she is a student, she is eligible for services at the Counseling and Student Development Center, if not, please see our website for other, local resources. Lastly, take care of yourself! If you find you are becoming preoccupied with this situation, maybe you should consider coming to talk to a counselor about this situation for your own peace of mind. Good luck, and thanks for writing. BW |