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Dear Troubled Friend,
I want to thank you for having the courage to share such personal and desperate feelings. You may well be a "basketcase of problems" right now, but you are more than this, much more. Judging from the tone of your letter, I believe that you are not "blowing things out of proportion." And I am sorry to hear that your efforts to make things better have only made things worse. I know how demoralizing this can be, and how it can add to your feeling of being a burden to others. Compared to how others' lives appear to be going, this can leave you feeling even more lost and alone. I get the impression that you feel you have lost your sense of who you really are. Wondering why you are still alive can be the first step toward learning to live a conscious, intentional life on your own terms, with much personal satisfaction and joy, as well as energy left over to contribute to making the world a better place because you are here. Not feeling worthy to live is a clear signal that the life you are stuck in is not the life you were meant to live. All of us, including you, deserve to live. Feeling like you are being a burden to others speaks to the sensitivity that you feel toward others, and to your desire to be feeling and living better. But you don't have to end your life to get rid of negative energy. Your statement that you have caused so many people so much pain is a powerful one. I want to tell you as strongly as I can that counseling can help you work through your pain so that you can feel whole again, and at peace with yourself. Please don't give up. It can get better, with some help. You've already taken the first step, by identifying your pain in this forum. I want to encourage you to take the next step by contacting our office, the Counseling and Student Development Center, in the Campus Life Building, Room 200. Our phone number is 753-1206. You can access our services by walking into our office without an appointment. Please do this today! If you are reading this response after office hours, call 753-1212, and ask to speak with the on-call counselor. Thus, you have access to help 24-7. You are absolutely correct in your assertion that once you reach the core of your problems and cope with them, you will be able to conquer anything. We are here to help you do exactly that! So, don't stop now. Continue the life-creating process that you have started by articulating the depth of your pain so eloquently here. By sharing of yourself so personally in this way, you have already helped those others out there who read what you have written and who are suffering silently with the same feelings you have described. They now know that they are not alone, and maybe they will tap into their courage, as you have tapped into yours, and seek help for themselves as well. Thank you for that. Please come in soon. Sincerely, Barb-Wired |